Stannis Baratheon SI into ASoIaF
by innominatus
Summary: A modern day software engineer takes a walk in the woods finds himself in the body of Stannis Baratheon, one year after the Greyjoy Rebellion. What will he do?
1. Chapter 1

I was trekking one day in deep woods, and while exploring some clump of old Oak/Maple/Redwood/Birch trees, felt myself yanked away and found myself inserted and disoriented in Stannis Baratheon's body. Due to the shock I fell down dazed, unable to move because of sensory confusion, and spent a few days in the woods assimilating all of Stannis's memories. It was a good thing that I had read parts of ASOIAF and watched some of GoT on YouTube.

Let me step back a bit and fill in the backstory.

Software writing is a hard and intense job consuming many hours. I was burned out, and lost my job. Personal circumstances required a move back to my parents place, a picturesque site among mountains, albeit far away from all civilization. They were old and starting to be infirm, especially my mother, who was starting to get bedridden from an undiagnosed disease. Taking care of parents in their old age is a difficult chore in our times, when their children are always on the move for search for opportunities. It so happened that my loving older siblings were all married and settled in other places and could not get involved that much, due to inescapable "family obligations", whatever that meant. Yours truly, newly unemployed, was in the unenviable position of having to be around to make sure of mother's health.

It was difficult to get good jobs in that outback. A few occasional contract jobs for far less pay than I was accustomed to were available through internet. This was the life for three years, with exhausting dealing with my immediate family who might politely be called rednecks, needling me for this or that or various other things. Still, unpleasant it may be, duty is duty, and it had to be done. So with the occasional help of a sister who lived some distance apart, and a maiden aunt a little further away, and my father and a local live-in helper, we did take care of an increasingly weak mother. The expenses were unmanageable and it needs to be said that the my absent siblings did help. This was a mixed blessing though; I had to eat a lot of crow whenever I needed help and I festered a lot of resentment towards my older brothers for this.

In hindsight, this similarity in disposition to Stannis may have been the reason the Old Gods of this earth's Godswood which I had accidentally passed through, or Alien Space Bats of , whatever, inserted my mind on to Stannis's body. This is not to say that I believed in Gods. A few months ago I had to helplessly witness my mother passing away and just like Stannis, I swore I will never pray to any God in future.

It so happened that I was in the Godswood in King's Landing, a place few people visit. Fortunately a search party found me in a few days, dehydrated and exhausted and faint, and carried me back to King's Landing. I feigned ignorance as to the circumstances of how I ended up unconscious in the woods and the investigating Gold Cloaks and the Maesters concluded that I was probably attacked and poisoned and lost the memory of the last few days.

After coming to, I ascertained that the year was 290 AC, a year after the failed Greyjoy Rebellion, and I was myself the lord of Dragonstone and Master of Ships and together with Jon Arryn cleaning up after Robert Baratheon's incompetence and apathy in governing the kingdom (there is no other description for what his reign was like), with little funds, and Stormlands being given to my younger brother Renly with all its funds, at the tender age of 8. I also had the unenviable task of facing up to the future cataclysmic events in Westeros and Essos.

I also had a bright darling daughter with a scarred face, not of the original me, but still mine, and a most unpleasant wife for now, with who the not sharing bed part will be fortunate happenstance, and in future a psycho Fire Witch to deal with. Lots of problems, lots of questions, and it is easy to take a wrong step or get paralyzed by analysis.

What should I do? It was time to think.


	2. Chapter 2

"Tell me, Lord Arryn", I murmured, gazing into Jon Arryn's form as we stood together overseeing the bay, "what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?"

It took a second for the question to sink into his head, which he turned abruptly to look back at me, with a distant smile, surely of a man who didn't care overmuch for me, but saw my value, and responded, "My, Stannis, I knew you were a brooding person, but it is new to me that inside that head of yours such thoughts go on that are suited to a Septon or a penitent, and never knew you to be devotee of the Crone, or even that you were any kind of religious at all".

I gave him a ghost of a wan smile myself, agreed, "You are right in your initial assumption, Lord Arryn, I never care much for these Gods, old or new at all, and would prefer to do my task, and let them do theirs without mutual interference. But, after all the turmoil and transformations ever since I left boyhood, it is easy to lapse into vacant or pensive moods and one wonders."

He was still kind of distracted, and gave a polite, tolerant, paternal, reply: "Oh, do pray tell me what intriguing matter is vexing you now?"

"Robert bestowed the Lannister boy with the title Kingslayer", I interjected, "an infamous sobriquet certainly, and yet the very antithesis of Ser Jaime is unnamed and unsung, except in this private moment between two allies of my Lord Brother, wherein please allow me to honor you as the Kingmaker of the Realm, my Lord Hand".

"What are you insinuating, Stannis?" Arryn seemed to be irritated.

"Nothing, My Lord, just the plain truth. The main participants of the rebellion were all young boys really, Lords Eddard, Robert, Brandon and even myself were young, and such momentous events as the ending of a dynasty and the placement of a new King over seven Kingdoms is never an adventure of a band of boys. We were all hotheaded and idealistic fools, and it was beyond us to be visionaries of such. It hardly seems believable now, what we achieved through all these years. We lived by our emotions of each moment, rallied men and swung swords, without sight of the whole picture. No, there was a guiding hand, one that led us around the nose without us being aware, and that was yours, my Lord Hand. I see it now clear as a man who was not aware the path he took through a mountain, yet sees it clearly afterwards upon looking from a distant spot in the valley. We were the mere actors of the play, My Lord, and you were the conductor".

Lord Arryn's face become sterner as I went on with my speech, and gave me a measuring gaze, and said explosively, "By all Gods, I now see why Robert keeps you at Dragonstone, Stannis. Certain men have the misfortune to be prickly with words. Take this counsel from an old man who has seen much. Do not think of everything like a battle. Leave the sharp edge out of your words and learn to diplomatically deal with people. I forget that you are still so young. Show some respect to your elders and other people you need to deal with. It is a deep personality issue of yours, that you alienate people and you are unable to convince people of the need to collaborate with you and support you. Nothing great was ever achieved by any 'normal' individual all alone. If at all you desire, it really needs support from proper people, at proper time. Hence what i mean is not to mess with people so often."

His words penetrated into me like a crossbow bolt, yet I ploughed on, "Nevertheless, it is the truth, My Lord, and the truth is sometimes felt prickly. Yet here there is no need to feel antagonized; I spoke it only complementary. Anybody is glad to be rid of the reign of the Mad King. You are an honorable and decent one among the High Lord. You are the teacher of honor to Lord Eddard. Yet, I wonder, back to my original question, at this moment, after our arduous journey, do you feel it was all really worth it?"

Jon Arryn interjected, "What do you mean"?

"Some Lords whisper that you have had already a plan in hand with Lord Rickard Stark and my Lord Father to replace the Targaryens, that is why you fostered my brother, and the Stark children, with you, to create a block of a power that may rival the Crown's. Now, at this juncture, do feel it was all worth it? You are an old man yourself, my Lord, and your own house is in ruins. This is not to mention all the bloodshed, all the ruin, all the cries of orphans and smallfolk, and terrible crimes done in the name of war, the cure being almost as bad as the disease sometimes... My Lord, I hesitate to bring this up, as you say I am a man without the graces and charms, yet all I had in front of me was duty and stubbornness in front of insurmountable problem, and I am forced to confront the matter, ignoring my fear and worries."

He considered me at length, and turned his face way, and said, "Go on, if it worries you so much. Might as well as get it out of the way".

I gathered my courage and went on, "The world places a lot of the power in the hands of the noble Lords, knights and warriors. Well, maybe a bit on other people like the High Septon or Master of Whispers, but you get the general idea. Women are usually powerless. They get raped in wars, and generally hold no power over the decisions of their Lord husbands or fathers. Still, not all is as it seems at first glance, and they do exert great power. They have the power of motherhood, a greater influence on the children in their formative first years than a father could ever hope to have. And sometimes, they hold power over our very hearths and fatherhoods too. They are the custodians of the next generation. They can lift up a man with their favor, and grand him a child. A proud lord might strut around like a peacock, while his children are all not his... My Lord, I beg you, please give me your word of honor to consider the matter I am about to tell you in detail before reacting".

By now he was too curious, and after extracting a promise from him, I told him in more detail about the story of the Tully sisters, Catelyn's engagement to the elder Stark brother, Petyr Baelish's duel, recovery, Lisa's sleeping with Petyr and getting pregnant, Hoster Tully aborting their child, continuing difficulties of getting pregnant, and rumors of their affair continuing. And Baelish's possible embezzlements, tax frauds and slave and brothel trade.

And fled to Dragonstone before Lord Arryn could think too much and while I still a chance.


End file.
